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Friday, 09 May 2008

Thursday, 24 August 2006

Oh my

I've struck again. What's with my yearly mood swings anyway? Geeze

Tuesday, 15 November 2005

Well, it's almost Christmas again. Look at my last entry. SO full of vigor and happiness. This Christmas, and also my 20th birthday will be the lonliest, most depressing Christmas ever. Maybe my last Christmas ever. I don't know what the future holds exactyl, but I do know it's something terrible. Something I deserve. No matter what it is though, I will not back down. I will fight it and still be me. I still say fuck the world, fuck the law, fuck anyone who hates me, and fuck you too. (Well, not you.) Anyway, jailtime is almost inevitable as is my death. If I only I knew how I've affected every single person I've talked to. If I only I could read their minds or go to my own funeral. Hell, I'll be there. I say fuck the afterlife too. I'm not missing my funeral. After that, fine. Put me where I belong. I won't care then.

How did it come to this anyway? At what point in my childhood did I decide to throw my life away? Did I even decide it? Was it fate? Was it all for some reason I don't know yet? What happened? I changed so much somewhere. I'd say for the better. Why can't humanity see what I am? Why can't everyone understand? No, why can't ANYONE understand? Why am I cursed with this genius, this underlying knowledge of things? The truth. Why am I cursed with being able to see the truth and not let it fade? Why am I so talented in these respects but I can't perform them? Why, why why why why? Why will no one understand fully what I am saying? Why can't I explain it better? Why will everyone think this means something different? Here's the knowledge part again. I know almost exactly what everyone who reads this will think. Why can't I change my words so that I show them how to interpret it? Why have I become so depressed? Why have I almost given up? Why do I not know the answers to these? Why am I still writing? Why...Why am I still alive?

Saturday, 25 December 2004

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the peoples of the earth. And Merry Christmas to those who aren't... hmm? In case you are, in fact, real. :) I like to cover all my bases. Now for the personal Merry X-mas'ses...

Linda - Merry Christmas, I enjoyed spending this year talking with you more than anyone else I think. It's been grand and we've grown closer. Thanks for being up late and just being there, even though I didn't really tell you anything very personal...

Suzy - Although we've just met really, it seems like we've been friends much longer. Hopefully this coming year we'll get to know each other a little better. Granted we WANT to get to know each other's dark sides... >> <<

Amber - Always upbeat and inspiring. It's been a good year knowing you, and chatting with you. Have a great Christmas in Florida!

Michael - Dude, good times, man...good times. Always there with something to do. A savior from boredom!! Maybe next year a radar detector can get you out of some tricky situations, eh? lol

Ryan - Hey man, Keep on keepin' it real! (sounds like I'm signing yearbooks now) Anyways. Let's skate some more and hopefull 2005 will be a great year for going Flo? We can always dream.

Beau - Dude, you're like a bro. I mean really, I almost LIVED at your house in '04. Thanks for that and always being there to put up with my stupidity and arrogance. Well, I'll give ya home whenever we get to Cali, don't fret. It'll be me you and ryan, sakting and stuff. aww yea.

Allison - Hope you enjoyed me being there as much as I did wherever Michael went. lol. I know you did, so it's all good :D

Esther - I don't even know you, but everytime you hear that I'm talking to someone, you scream my name. So, that's cool lol.

Abbie - Well, I know I usually tease you about something or another, but deep down, I don't mind you one bit. You're fun to hang out with. Always so hyper.

Hayley - Nice seeing you at the skatepark, but I miss ya being there now that you don't go. Just cuz Ryan's there, doesn't mean you can't be.

Rebecca - Even though I pretty much can't talk to you, lol, it was fun while it lasted I suppose. =3

Sam - You seem like a great girl, and I really wish we could have met or something, but hey, whatever. Life goes on, eh? Have fun in Florida! I know you will.

Friday, 24 December 2004

no, seriously, look at the other post beloooooooooow this'un. Follow the instructions veeeeeeeery carefully to understand the TRUE meaning of life !!! :)